S.A.M was a very eye-opening and heart-opening experience for me. I've been to world changers and other missions trips before, but this week something really clicked with me. This year at seesalt, our main focus is reaching out to the least of these. Although we've been rehearsing for quite a while now, it wasn't until recently that the Tuesday night drama really hit home with me. When reading Matt. 25, I've never actually imagined Jesus as the one sitting on the side of the road begging for money, or the single mother of three, or the orphan, etc. I know that reaching out to these people is supposed to be like ministering to Jesus, but I never actually imagined Him being in their shoes. The whole "Matt. 25 glasses" segment of the drama, followed by the song by Shaun Groves "Jesus" brought this to my heart's attention.
As I arrived at my site each day of S.A.M. week, it bothered me to see a struggling couple trying to raise 4 little girls. Their house was in poor shape--in much need of more than just a paint job, which was what we were there to do. Bugs crawled everywhere you looked, everything was filthy including the children, the house was cluttered with so many things. As I wiped down walls in preparation for a fresh coat of paint, I thought about Jesus as a filthy child, living in a shabby house, with bugs crawling on Him at night. It was through this experience that I really realized that I am not living out the Christian life that God has called me to. I focus so much on the logistics of Christianity--reading my Bible, praying, doing everything right, *looking good in front of other Christians*, but I fail to serve the least of these. That is what Christ came to do, and He has called me to follow in His footsteps.
I didn't quite know how to process what God was speaking to me about through this week. driving away from my site each day, I pondered the question of whether I had gotten it all wrong up until this point. I am so easily caught up into materialism, fame, appearance, popularity, etc. which our society promotes like nothing else. I feel that my life often contains nothing of the sacrifice that Christ gave for me. Am I truly denying myself daily and taking up my cross to follow Him?
Last semester, my prayer for myself was that God would remove my materialism and give me a heart for the lost and the needy. I am now reminded--whenever I go out to a nice restaurant, or treat myself to a Starbucks coffee, or see the newest movie, or don myself in the latest fashion--of these people that God put in my path this past week, the least of these. It just doesn't seem right that they are living like they are and I am living the way I am.
On my way home from Myrtle Beach, I stopped at a sketchy-looking gas station, where I had to wait my turn to pump gas among several groups of different ethnicities. Without realizing it, I immediately began judging them--the Mexicans who gave me eerie stares, the Oriental family who took what seemed like forever to get all of the kids out of the bathroom, into the car, and buckled. then an American man pulled up with his young daughter. I grunted within the confines of my car, thinking that he was intending to take my place in the car line. Then God softened my heart. I thought about the matt. 25 glasses. I watched this man and his daughter as he purchased a 6 pack of Budweiser and some Camels. I thought about how innocent the child was now, but how she would soon turn out during her adolescence based on the environment I assume she is growing up in. I watched the Mexicans pull out of the gas station. and as I pumped gas into my car, I began to weep. What if each of these groups of people are going to hell, and I have the only thing that can save them?
I know that God is changing my heart, and I am so thankful for S.A.M. week, because I know that He used it to touch and change me.
